Asalamu alaikum everyone,
I hope you are all doing well. đ¸
I took a break from writing blog posts for a while, but I’m back now with some new insights to share.
A lot has changed in my life since last year. Sometimes the changes happened so quickly that I barely had a moment to stop and appreciate everything I had. And that’s the thing about life; it doesn’t stop for anyone. But it’s so important for us, as people who need meaning in our lives, to pause every so often and reflect on the world around us. More importantly, we need to pause and ponder on the world within ourselves.
It can be difficult to sit, alone with your thoughts, and be truly honest about yourself. It can feel strange and somewhat superficial. Or it can feel like having your flaws under a magnifying glass – very uncomfortable.
However, the purpose of self reflection is not to pick on yourself or beat yourself up about all the things you aren’t. It’s about freeing your mind from all of the ‘truths’ you have been told by the people around you, the media and even the critic within yourself.
I want to share something so important right now because I want you to be at peace with yourself and those around you. Please remember this as you journey through life: the hurtful things that people say to you do not reflect your reality. Their thoughts and opinions are the result of their own history and experiences.
When I was younger, I would become easily hurt by what others would say about me. I was told that I wasn’t good enough, that I couldn’t achieve my goals and that I wouldn’t ever improve. That really stuck with me for a long time.
Then, one day I realised that what people say about me is not the truth. It was just a thought which resulted from their own life experiences. When I reflected on my own life, I realised that I had achieved many things, I was improving a little bit every day and that I was good enough for Allah, if not anyone else. And being enough for Allah matters more than anything else.
I came to the conclusion that there was no point in being upset at something that wasn’t even true. That was the logical part of me speaking. But the emotional part of me was still hurt. I couldn’t understand why it had happened in the first place.
It took some time to forgive the people who had etched their hurtful words onto my heart. It was painful. I often swayed between choosing forgiveness and holding onto the hurt. I thought that holding onto the hurt would prevent me from being hurt again, because then I would be prepared. But it was emotionally draining and I finally realised that letting go was the best option. When I let go of the hurt, my heart, mind and soul finally felt free.
I learned that part of forgiveness is understanding. People are not perfect. People do hurtful things for different reasons. And most of the time, people hurt others because they feel hurt or scared themselves.
Perhaps, the people who hurt me had been through similar hurtful situations in their life and were projecting their hurt onto the people around them because they didn’t get the chance to heal themselves. Perhaps, they never received the love and care that they needed and therefore, didn’t know how to act with love and care. Or perhaps, they simply didn’t realize that they hurt me, because for them, hurting others is a norm that they had lived with for a long time.
When we look at others with understanding, it’s almost impossible to be angry at them for what they do. Of course, that’s not to say we overlook hurtful behaviour and give excuses for it. However, we give ourselves peace of mind by not holding anger and hatred in our hearts. We understand that a lot of people are in need of healing.
Our actions have a ripple effect, so let’s choose to spread good in the short time we have in this world. When we don’t heal ourselves first, we spread hurt like ripples on water. To counteract this, we need to act with compassion, love and kindness. When we choose to act in beautiful ways, we spread positivity and hope like ripples. Whatever we choose to do, that is what we pass on to others. That is how we teach others how to be kind.
Choose to let go of hurt rather than hold on. Choose to understand rather than be angry. Choose to heal rather than hurt yourself and others. No matter what happens in life or where we go, this is how we heal ourselves and others. â¤ď¸
Until next time, peace. â
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